This article is part of TIME on the weekendissue 52/2025.
When my friends think something I’ve done sucks, they usually don’t say:
“Marie, I thought that was shit.”
Instead you say:
“Marie, I notice that this doesn’t make me feel so good. That could also be entirely my fault, I have a problem with making my self-worth too dependent on the approval of others. But I would hope that we can pay attention to this together in the future.”
Why? Because in my environment it is an unwritten rule that we “communicate non-violently”. I am generally a fan of this approach. With similar restrictions as I am a member of the second division soccer team Hertha BSC: It’s great to be part of the club – I still think about quitting every six weeks.
